生存 vs 生活

生存需要聪明，生活需要智慧。好有深度的一句。生存与生活，哪个比较重要，哪个比较容易办得到，应该因人而异吧！

最近我面临生存大考验，被安排到National Cancer Centre 孤军奋战一个星期，学识上的不足使我措手不及。后来实习正式进入InPatient，就好像噩梦的开始，就看我有多能耐撑到最后终点；同一时间被安排OP Case Study Presentation；再加上VIVA week 。哇，我竟然有幸经历如此惊心动魄的过程。不算生存下来，因为VIVA 没有过关，Presentation 也差强人意，InPatient LogBook 也堆积如山。结论是，我不够聪明，崩溃了，因为没有办法扛起那么大的包袱与压力。

而这个周末，我过得特别有意义。与同学到KTV痛快飚歌，还真服了那两个大男生一人一首福建成名曲；也为我们四个女生的广东造诣感到自豪。后来约了久违的老友聚餐，从他们身上学了不少生活小智慧，大家都成长了！再和一位还沉溺在新婚甜蜜期的学姐见面，见她过得幸福也为她感到开心。后来，我一个非常可爱的同事姐姐晚上想吃闻名的Bugis 豆浆油条竟然还想到我，所以我再次尝到幸福的味道，虽然只是非常简单的豆浆油条，还有那不算短的来回一小时车程。也难得与Housemate 在同一个晚上天南地北的畅谈，分享心事，很珍惜那种关心彼此的贴心感觉。是啊，生活就该如此！

如果要我为自己打分，我生存的聪明度只得50%，而生活的智慧应该有80%。 心里的警钟开始作响，因为在新加坡这个国度，生存比生活来得更重要啊！到底我该选择生存，还是继续沉溺在自己满足的生活里？就好像爱情与面包，要选哪一样？

人生的真相

这两天参加了FAPA，眼界的确开阔了不少。发现世界越来越小、越来越平。如果想要在这竞争剧烈的环境里有所作为，真的要很努力很努力地勇往直前。可是，当一个人长时间奋斗，忙碌地为事业而拼命，几时会回头看一看过程中不小心忽略的一些比事业更加重要的东西。

我亲眼看到了一个人生的真相。人的心胸总是不够开阔。我以为我们应该尽地主之谊，热情款待来自邻国的宾客。有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎？更何况彼此都是药剂界的同道中人。可是，大家最终还是局限于自个儿的圈子里打滚，在四周围建起高高的墙筑，不让外人进来。互相交换了书本上的学问知识，却忘了伸出最珍贵的友谊之手，也少了文化交流，多讽刺呀！散会后，大家又犹如陌路人，各归各位，互不相干。

很不幸的，我也是那四面墙里的其中一个，总是不够大方的向宾客们说声“嗨!”

阴天

今天天气不好，从早到晚天色阴阴的。我的心情，就和今天的天气一样。

常常都好想痛哭一场，把心里一切的不愉快都哭出来。

知足常乐，好像很难办得到。身边有疼惜自己的家人、关怀且支持自己的朋友、非常善良可爱的同事、好得无话可说的上司老板，我还可以要求些什么呢？

不喜欢现在的生活。没有理由。只希望早点从迷宫里走出来。因为，我很累了。

美丽的彩虹

小时候，老师要我用“彩虹”一词来造句，我总会写道：大雨过后，天边出现一道美丽的彩虹。非常精简的句子，里面却隐藏着深层的意义。

如果没有下雨，彩虹是不是永远不会出现? 或者说，如果想要见到彩虹，是不是一定要等到大雨过后？

然而，奇迹发生了。那天，炎热的下午，当我们沿着槟岛的一条道路走着走着，突然发现天边出现一道美丽的彩虹。顿时，大伙儿沉重的心情稍微好转，脸上露出一丝丝笑容。一定是她，化作彩虹，试图安抚大家悲痛的心情。她是那么的特别，就如那道美丽的彩虹一样，让人留下美好的回忆。

大日子

十月十二日，对很多人来说是我的大日子。大伙儿都纷纷献上最真诚的祝福。我感动在心，也默默地为大家许了愿。

昨天和要好的死党们聚餐，知道你们的心意， 谢了=）今天，把很多朋友的约会都推了，听起来好像很“吊价”。我只想静静的与家人度过平凡温馨的生日。或许很多人都没有意识到生日也称为“母难日”，是母亲们最辛苦的一天。所以，在庆祝本身有幸来到这世上的当儿，请别忘了感谢妈妈把我们带到这世上。很土是吧！但却是生日最珍贵的意义。

希望每个人都梦想成真、健康快乐。希望远在槟城的她也一样过得安好，我不懂能为她做些什么她应该感觉到大伙儿都很想念她。

好吧，祝我生日快乐 =）

Just Another Friday

昨天请病假，与roommate 不约而同生病了。我的免疫系统不再百毒不侵。

今天，难得在办公室帮忙，为了公司所谓的“Big Day ” 作准备。对着电脑银幕一整天，还真累的。还好我认识了一群可爱的同事，与她们苦中作乐，偶尔还会冒出几个冷笑话哗众取宠，又有Mamma Mia Original Soundtracks 解闷，时间总是过得特别快。

在家，Guok Girls 陪我聆听新闻，对世界经济危机侃侃而谈，分享工作上的一些趣事。Vern 似乎对泰国首相因上烹饪节目而被推下台的事故感到很有兴趣；我差点被台湾总统马英九的魅力所迷惑；大家都一致对祖国的政治把戏嗤之以鼻。

Thank God It's Friday! 可是，很不幸的，我明天还是要上课，下课后需回公司参加Spring Cleaning， 接下来还有一个讲座。听起来感觉还过得蛮充实的。如果大部分上班的日子都像今天那么开心自在，少了啃书本那部分，我还蛮享受这样的幸福时光 =）

讲太多

这两个星期以来，我讲得特别多。从早上九点左右开始，就一直讲个不停，到傍晚五点半放工为止，有时还不够，需要加班讲到六点钟为止。

偶尔会有点困惑，不懂他们是否明白我所说的，到底我讲得够不够清楚，尤其是那些只会傻傻地望着你点头的孟加拉外劳。有时遇到年级较大的阿公阿嘛，要和他们讲上半个小时，因为他们自己明明记错了，却坚持自己的立场，真累。 又有些时候，心情不太好，觉得自己不想讲太多，感觉很厌烦。

也难怪OP 的老板提醒我要喝多点茹荟汤水润润喉，因为我还要继续讲多四个星期。Alamak! 我知道老板说话算话!

所以，从明天开始，我决定多喝蜜糖。

OP菜单

在Outpatient Pharmacy，Dispensing 只是配菜，主菜是Effective Communication Skills + High EQ 。如果主菜理得不好，在怎么棒、怎么精致的配菜也无法满足顾客的需求。所以，我每天都在学习如何拿捏主菜的精髓。

面对凶神恶煞的customers 也唯有忍气吞声；看不过眼儿子媳妇对老人家呼呼喝喝也压抑着一肚子的怒气；眼看连配菜都付不起的顾客也只能为他们唉声叹气。

总之，我的OP菜单天天都变换无穷，很是精彩。我其实还蛮喜欢OP菜单的。

谈工作

是的，已经在亚历山大医院工作了三个月。请不要问我工作如何，我想没有人会喜欢这种Intensive Training 吧！+苦笑+

说是9am 上班，而我总觉得90% 以上的日子我都在8am 以前就到医院报道，目前最高纪录715am 到办公室与Preceptor having discussion，这还不包括星期六Half working day。 每晚在msn Pharm04 的名单内都看到大同小异的displayed nick：I dun like my current life；When can I clear my sleep debt? ; Try to relax while there is a chance...

For the sake of your licence, please bear with this 9 months......已经数不清多少人和我说过这句至理名言。我也只想过9个月这一关，想要正常的作息时间，平衡的生活方式。就只是这样而已。

每逢佳节倍思亲

古人有云：独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲。

是的，我又想家了，尤其是在中秋节的夜晚。

手头上有着永远都读不完的Practice Guidelines, 密密麻麻的英文字母似乎变成了蚂蚁，在我面前爬来爬去, 我眼花缭乱，暂时宣布投降！

拨了长途电话回家与爸妈聊天，又与大姐、弟妹谈了片刻，再次发现我真的很爱他们。

Guok Girls 即将成为历史，只能无奈地向前看，好聚好散才算精彩。今晚的中秋节，Guok House 没有两年前的闹哄哄中秋晚会，也没有一年前的张灯结彩。午夜1130pm，三个女人 坐在一块儿，分享甜美的月饼，享受彼此在一起的温馨时光。幸福依旧存在，只要用心去感受。

时间一直马不停蹄地在赶路，几时才会停下来，让人有机会欣赏沿途的风景？答案永远只有一个“不可能”。而我没有办法错过精彩的过程，唯有让时间远远的把我抛在后头。如果龟兔赛跑历史重演，我将会是那只改写历史的乌龟。

回来了

赫然发现，这个Blog被我不小心遗弃了半年。阿坤哥，谢谢你的提醒，原来我还有一个Blog =)

昨天与一群老朋友聚会，闲聊过去，畅谈将来。

友人突然问：那么多年来，你有没有觉得当初的选择是对的？有后悔吗？
我回道：是对的，没有后悔。

还蛮庆幸，这样的答案，是打从心底说出来的。

懒洋洋的星期天午后，没有别的借口不打起精神来，为了最初的那个梦想而继续努力。 但愿我的坚持没有错，但愿我的热忱还在。

在想念家人、怀念朋友、牵挂着某些人的当儿，还有好多好多事情等着我去完成。 原来，人老了，责任越多，烦恼越多，时间却不多。

当你在浏览我的“回来”篇时，也希望你过得好好的。。。

祝你生日快乐，马来西亚 =）

最初的梦想

如果骄傲没被现实大海冷冷拍下
又怎会懂得要多努力
才走得到远方
如果梦想不曾坠落悬崖
千钧一发
又怎会晓得执着的人
拥有隐形翅牓
把眼泪装在心上
会开出勇敢的花
可以在疲惫的时光
闭上眼睛闻到一种芬芳
就像好好睡了一夜到天亮
又能边走着边哼着歌
用轻快的步伐
沮丧时总会明显感到孤独的重量
多渴望懂得的人 给些温暖借个肩膀
很高兴一路上 我们的默契那么长
穿过风 又绕个弯 心还连着
像往常一样
最初的梦想 紧握在手上
最想要去的地方
怎么能在半路就放
最初的梦想 绝对会到达
实现了真的渴望
才能够算到过了天堂

宁静的夜晚
有Singapore Top 88 Drugs
有范玮琪的歌
有手上紧握着最初的梦想的人
直到天亮......

大大的生活、小小的感动

时间真的走得很快很快，一眨眼我已经坐在回新加坡的夜班长途巴士上。农历新年好像昨天刚发生似的。

趁着等待巴士启程的空档，我挨近窗口，看看游子们与亲人依依不舍道别的画面。突然发现，有好多人都和我一样离乡背井，在另一个离家很遥远的城市，很努力地为生活而奋斗。有那么多人和我一起加油，其实我并不孤单。

“爸爸要去新加坡做工了。要乖乖，要听妈妈的话，知道吗？爸爸下一次回来买玩具给你。。。”

一段再也普遍不过的生活对白，从我座位后方传来。然而，我听了之后，鼻子一酸，眼泪很不争气的流了出来。我就是那么奇怪，平时看电影或小说，不管故事情节多么地凄楚可悲，我就是哭不出来，也难怪有些朋友说我“铁石心肠”。而偏偏这种生活中的小细节，却能轻而易举地感动了我。

是啊，我始终是幸福的！从小就在家人的呵护下长大，也不必经历刚才和父亲通电话的小孩那种等待爸爸回家的心情。天知道那小孩幼小的心灵可经得起多大的考验与耐力；而那慈爱的爸爸心理又多么不舍得和自己的孩子分隔两地。无奈，为了生活，有些牺牲是必须的。

希望可以在往后大大的生活里，体验更多小小的感动。因为我知道那些小小的感动将会是我的心情治疗剂，使我少了一分抱怨，多了一分知足。

给孩子和爸爸：生活要加油，为了你们再次团聚的一天 :)

Happy Rat Year =)

Today is the 1st day of the 2008 Lunar New Year. I woke up not so early, not so late. This year's new year celebration in my kampung and house seems to be a bit quiet as compared to previous years. Perhaps me and my siblings have grown up, not as enthusiastic as we used to be when we were still young.

Anyway, I wish my family, relatives and friends to have a wonderful Rat Year. The most important ones would be to stay healthy and happy most of the time. Yippie ^_^

p/s: There are mountains of school works waiting for me to clear during this CNY period...jialat...I brought whole stack of notes & textbooks from NUS. I tried, but still very reluctant to start off with my work. This is CNY man! See how bah =_="

ENFJ

"Empower Yourself For Success !" It was this advertisement by the NUS Career Centre that grabbed my attention. I was then persuaded by my roommate to attend the workshop that costed me $2. One day before the talk, we were asked to carry out an online psychometric test.

The test results confirmed my personality type as ENFJ

Extraverts
Attracted to many different things
Like to talk, sometimes without thinking
Like to get involved, make it happen
Keyword: Outgoing

Intuitives
Notice the whole picture
Theoretical - interested in WHY things work
Creative - like to experiment
Keyword: Imaginative

Feelers
Appreciate sensitivity
Quick to give support
Merciful - individual circumstances noted
Keyword: Compassionate

Judgers
Are comfortable when everything is organized
Like to have a time-framed schedule
Decide quickly - sometimes bossy
Keyword: Organized

General Description:
ENFJs glow with warmth and sympathy. They are creative and organized and enjoy helping others achieve their personal goals. ENFJs want to understand people, so they are interested in theories of human behaviour. Since ENFJs bring out the best in others, they make popular leaders and faithful supporters. They are gifted communicators.

Career Insights:
ENFJs value harmony and personal growth as ideals so they prefer to work in settings that promote these ideals. Since they are outgoing and organized, ENFJs adapt easily to organizational policies and procedures - as long as the procedures are in line with their idealized goals. ENFJs will enjoy work that helps people get along better and improve themselves. Careers often chosen by ENFJs include the religious professions, health care, psychology, writing, fine arts, teaching (art, drama, music) and counselling.

hmm...I think the test was quite accurate. After the evaluation of the test by the speaker in the workshop, I found myself is about 75% ENFJ. The remaining 25% non-ENFJ hopefully can serve as a buffer to harmonise my personality and character. No one is perfect after all. I kinda appreciate what I have learnt from the 2-hour workshop. At least I know myself better =)

Think BiG

"Life is too short to be SMALL, think BIG ! "

My dear friends, do you agree with the statement above? I could not find an absolute answer for myself...

I attended the Pharmacy Young Alumni Talk over the last weekend. I think it is really good to have seniors coming back to deliver some speech to inspire their juniors. That is one of the things that I appreciate very much in the pharmacy course.

There were six speakers came back to share their experiences with us. All of them were young, energetic and ambitious Pharmacy Alumni. They spoke confidently, could not really tell that they graduated from NUS in only less than 3 years. While listening, I was dreaming again... Is it possible for me to become like my seniors some day in the future?

"Hey, my fellow juniors. Come on, don't limit yourselves. All of you must think Big! Really..." I was awaken by someone talked with a relatively high pitch of voice.

Well, eventually I have come out with my Year 2008 resolution: Think BiG ^_^ V

生活啊。。。

最近身边发生了不少事情，好坏参半，让我更深入体验人生的起起落落，也看清了不同人的友情价值观。原来，我比自己想象中更爱身边的朋友。

有人为了物质上的满足而努力工作赚钱，有人为了心灵上的富足而乐善好施，有人为了崇尚自由而浪迹天涯，有人为了多活在这个世上一秒钟而与病魔搏斗。。。不管发生任何事情，日子还是要过的。

我一直都在默默祈祷，但愿我爱的和爱我的亲人与朋友，在身边或在远方的，一切都安好。农历新年快到了，就让它成为我的新年愿望吧！

It's Time to Wake Up

Time flies! In less than 10-hour time I will be attending the 1st lecture of my final semester -- Natural Products. By looking at the name of the module, I can feel that it is such a so called "sienz" module. Quite a number of coursemates complained to me about the "sienz" module on msn just now. Poor Dr Chui that his students do not apprecitiate his 用心良苦。I printed out the lecture notes needed for the lesson, get ready for the "早睡早起" practice again. Hopefully I can wake up on time. No wonder a friend of mine said I am so 乖. Yup, I also think the same way :P

My roommate said it is time to wake up. Yup, reality calls. I attended a Resume Workshop a few days ago. The alarm is ringing, asking me to work harder and stop dreaming in my own world. I shall carry on with my responsibility as a university student. Attending lectures, lab sessions, assignments, mugging, CAs etc. Honestly, I hate all these. That's why I was not excited at all when I met my classmates again in the Resume Workshop, as they reminded me that I am back to NUS! Argh....

Anyway, since I have got no choice, I shall stop blaming anyone or anything for no reason. I shall think in a positive way. I want to appear as an energetic person in front of my friends when I see them in the class.

An alarm is ringing: Hey, Tomoko! It is time to WAKE UP!

Tomoko: I know. I've prepared myself to go back to the battle again! Jia You my fellow pharmers!

Wishes in 2008

1. Graduation Trip -- I am really "pokkai", but still looking forward to go somewhere special before I join another more torturing world of working life (most of my friends told me the same thing) . Current places in the list: Perhentian Island, Bali Island, Melbourne, Tokyo, Taiwan & Mt Kinabalu cum Sabah Trip. Every place has its own specialities and attractions. I wish miracle will happen to me, so that I can travel to one of the places.
2. Finishing at least 2 self-enrichment books. I have "The World Is Flat" & "The Five People You Meet In The Heaven" in hand right now. Must try to read more!!! Everyone in the world is competiting to each other in this globalised era. I need to make myself better so that I am not left out by the fast pace of development taking place in every single moment right now.
3. I wish my final semester in NUS would be a fruitful, contented, memorable, sweet & wonderful one. Of course here does not mean to do well academically as I do not think that is the most important thing in my life. I treasure family & friendship far more than good grades, and I really mean that.
4. I wish to find my life goal and obtain a job that I really like before I graduate in this semester. I have almost convinced myself to make up my mind and go for pre-registration before I take the next step to involve in the pharmaceutical industry. Not that I 放不下 the four years of time spent in the Pharmacy course. I take the 9-month pre-reg as an opportunity to gain knowledge and build up good foundation in clinical and direct patient contact context. The 9 months can also serve as a platform for me to polish myself to become tougher in order to take up any challenges in the future. I hope my mind will not fluctuate again, unless I am lucky enough to get another good prospects job offer. Wish myself ~ALL THE BEST~
5. There is friend I wish her to be strong & happy all the time. I cannot do much for her besides praying hard for her. I believe she can win the battle as she has proven herself since the beginning. I am so proud of her. She will definitely see the sun shines in the end.
6. I hope grandma, mum, dad, sisters, brothers, cousins, uncles, aunties & everyone in my family to live happily & healthy throughout the Year 2008.
7. I wish myself to be more optimistic, confident, accepting, considerate and happier!

Bye Bye my last holiday in Uni-Life

Yea, I had a fruitful holiday in Dec 2007. I was my very very last holiday before I step into another phase of life -- working. That's why I am quite 感触良多 recently, recalling back lotsa lotsa memories from Year 1-Year 3 in NUS. And for the 1st time I can declare this as my real, genuine holiday. No part-time job, no school activities, no preceptorship, no special event that requires me to rush back to SG etc. Perhaps I benefit more for not being accepted to work with HPB and GSK. That's why lucky me can enjoy the precious time with my family as I may not be able to stay at home for such a long time after I start working. I also managed to catch up with some of my long lost friends in Penang since I left secondary school. The Chinese quotion: 塞翁失马，焉知非福 has proven it's meaning. Well, it is time to summarise what I did in this 有意义的假期 before I go back to SG for my final semester.

1. Catching up with Kam Swee after I last met her in NUS 2 years ago. She spent one year to work and play in New Zealand. We had a long pillow-talk during the night I spent at her house. I was updated with many news and gossips from this Social Queen. Thanks for being such a great friend of mine though we have not been in the same class or same course in the past. That is called 缘份，I always believe in that =) I wish her to have a good future undertakings.

2. Hatyai Trip on 24-25th Dec. Again, thanks to Swee's invitation. Many people were shocked that I haven't been to Hatyai as I am staying in Kedah, and Hatyai is quite near from my hometown. Alright, I admit that I am "sua ku". So, to stop people from calling me "sua ku" I made the right decision to join the trip though I am offically "pokkai". Besides Swee and I, there were three more friends with us in this trip : Siew Yin, Hooi Kheng & Ke Peng. I've never ever talked to Hooi Kheng & Ke Peng though we were from same aima mater. But but, both of them are very easy-going and fun-loving persons indeed. Glad to have them in the trip that I enjoyed so many lame jokes and laughters. I did not meet Siew Yin since I left UTM. Had a good chat with her in the car. Happy to know she is doing well in her career. People go to Hatyai for cheap shopping. I went there for food hunting. Tomyam, seafood, Thai steam rice, Thai coconuts, mango sticky rice, cincao, 黑糯米, dodol....and many many more! No wonder I gained weight in only 2 days. But, no regrets!

Gorgeous Kuan Yin sculpture

I hit the giant bell, prayed for a wonderful 2008 year ahead

Thai coconuts taste best in a hot sunny day !

Breathtaking view from Kuan Yin Temple. It was terribly hot hot hot!

This is only 1/3 of our buffet meal. I miss the cincao, salad, coffee flavoured ice-cream and desserts the most.

Hatyai was very happening during X'mas Eve

Cute snowman

X'mas gifts ready for exchange

Everyone was satisfied with the present exchanged. Happy ending =)


3. Yumcha with LeeHwang & SiWei at Old Town Coffee Shop. This was my very 1st visit to such a high-class & 古典 kopitiam. I don't know that Old Town has many outlets in Malaysia. Ok, I am "sua ku" again. This was my very 1st hang-out with SiWei since we farewelled in Nottingham. We updated each other about our life, talked about pre-reg in Malaysia hospitals and listed down wish-to-go places in the future. Life is really wonderful with friends around. I wish our friendship will last 4eva !

Precious Moment: SiWei, KamSwee, LeeHwang & I

4. 梁静茹签唱会@ AutoCity. I always wish to attend Fish Leong's Concert as many people say that she sings better than what we've heard in her album. LeeHwang had 3 free tickets for her 签唱会, this definitely fulfilled my wish though Fish Leong only sang 5 songs in throughout the event. This was the 2nd 签唱会 I've ever attended. The 1st one was LeeHom's in SG IMM. Obviously, I am not a good fan as I did not buy any albums of both singers when I attended those events. Go there and listen to their songs, that's my main purpose. Haha. Also thanks to this event that I managed to meet up with another secondary school friends -- Ai Huey. We had a dinner at Takehama Restaurant before heading for the event starts. Food not as nice as expeceted but nicest people to talk-cock.

The clearest resolution of pic I managed to shoot from far

5. Shopping. I accompanied my mum and aunty to shop in Bukit Mertajam. Both of them got their favorite clothes and shoes at the end of the day. Mummy also bought me a lovely blouse =) I also shopped with LeeHwang & Aihuey in BM town centre. AiHuey is a real Shopping Queen as she grabbed away many clothes in each butique we entered. Thanks to LeeHwang for being such a wonderful host, tourguide and driver for those 2 days. (p/s: I discovered another new place called Raja Uda for clothes and food in Seberang Prai)

6. My elder brother offered me a fantastic dinner treat at a Japanese restaurant called 树林 at AutoCity (It has become a hot spot for family outing and hang-out of the residents in Seberang Prai) I shall declare that as the best ever Japanese 料理 I've ever tried. Adik: Arigatou gozaimashita. My next target: Makaning the original Japanese 料理 in Tokyo!